end...really the end liao...our relationship at last oso end liao...but then dunno why...i feel sad less than i expect...or maybe i was too hurt before break up and now no feeling already...or maybe i already have the preperation. but also maybe tat i also wan to break up...just tat i am not tat kind of person tat will say to break up...i rather the other side who said break up...dunno why i will have this action...maybe some people will scold i'm stupid or wat...but as long as i dun feel bad for tat.
hai...felt tat is like a dream...when with him is a dream althought is not tat a really very very very nice dream...at least i still have quite lot of good memories with him...now...at last...i have to wake up...the prob is i dunno i should get another bf fast...or i rather be single...but if a person stay single for too long...the hurt will be hard to recover
i really dunno now i is acting happy? or tat i really feel nothing...say wan to forget person in a short time of coz is not an easy things...i always tell people that we need a life time to forget a person...u will only forget the person only after u die. and i said tat becoz i oso agree with tat...
hai...dunno ler...i really dunno now i really nothing liao...or i just act be happy? but i also felt weird why i sad less than i expect...maybe also good gua...
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
my life is terrible...
my life...my mind...my emotion...my everything...is really getting worst.
yesterday...is the 1st day he worked...i called...ask wheter he tired anot or wat or watever things tat happen on him when he working. i dunno is my feeling got prob or is just normal we talk so normal...like fren asking something from fren...sounds like i'm the one who asking all the things and he just answered my question...i felt tat i am very annoyed...so i decide to stop our conversation and hang down the phone after saying bye since he is driving also. i dunno why he treat me so cool...izzit becoz he too tired? but after wat happen tat day...i felt tat our relationship getting worst...and is hard 2 recover coz we dun have time 2 talk bout it and i only can meet him once a week. i just know that i really have 2 talk bout our prob...but i dunno wat 2 say to him.
i told a net fren..bout my prob..he told me tat one of his fren suicide becoz her bf tat been together for almost 3 years had break up with her...when i read her blog...wat she wrote is exactly wat i think in my heart...and how i feel and wat i really wan 2 say...and the way she did...maybe i will do it sooner or later...just see when i can't control myself...
i saw a HK charity programme just now...is something like penyakit of mental. they mention bout a penyakit call emotional sick...when i saw wat they list to know whether u got this penyakit anot...i think i got tat penyakit...maybe..if really got chance...i oso hope 2 go see a 'pshycology' doctor...and hope 2 get well...if not...i think i really will do things tat i shouldn't do
http://sadlyangel.blogspot.com/ <---- this is the one tat i mentioned tat wat she wrote is 99.9% wat i think and felt and hope 2 said. i have to say sorry to her if she mind tat i show this...
yesterday...is the 1st day he worked...i called...ask wheter he tired anot or wat or watever things tat happen on him when he working. i dunno is my feeling got prob or is just normal we talk so normal...like fren asking something from fren...sounds like i'm the one who asking all the things and he just answered my question...i felt tat i am very annoyed...so i decide to stop our conversation and hang down the phone after saying bye since he is driving also. i dunno why he treat me so cool...izzit becoz he too tired? but after wat happen tat day...i felt tat our relationship getting worst...and is hard 2 recover coz we dun have time 2 talk bout it and i only can meet him once a week. i just know that i really have 2 talk bout our prob...but i dunno wat 2 say to him.
i told a net fren..bout my prob..he told me tat one of his fren suicide becoz her bf tat been together for almost 3 years had break up with her...when i read her blog...wat she wrote is exactly wat i think in my heart...and how i feel and wat i really wan 2 say...and the way she did...maybe i will do it sooner or later...just see when i can't control myself...
i saw a HK charity programme just now...is something like penyakit of mental. they mention bout a penyakit call emotional sick...when i saw wat they list to know whether u got this penyakit anot...i think i got tat penyakit...maybe..if really got chance...i oso hope 2 go see a 'pshycology' doctor...and hope 2 get well...if not...i think i really will do things tat i shouldn't do
http://sadlyangel.blogspot.com/ <---- this is the one tat i mentioned tat wat she wrote is 99.9% wat i think and felt and hope 2 said. i have to say sorry to her if she mind tat i show this...
Sunday, March 13, 2005
not bad oh
today is not a really bad day for me...at least nothing bad happen to me...yet...haha...
went dinner with my sista, we went pizza hut at Tmn Tun wan. After that i went to my sis house to chose clothes . She's giving me clothes that she dun really wear anymore...some is quite new wan leh...yea yea...got many new clothes to wear liao...haha...she gave me a shoe somemore...its in green...so cute tat shoe...hehe...ohya...and she oso gave me some nail polish and cosmetics...ha...suddenly get so many things...happy happy :)
went dinner with my sista, we went pizza hut at Tmn Tun wan. After that i went to my sis house to chose clothes . She's giving me clothes that she dun really wear anymore...some is quite new wan leh...yea yea...got many new clothes to wear liao...haha...she gave me a shoe somemore...its in green...so cute tat shoe...hehe...ohya...and she oso gave me some nail polish and cosmetics...ha...suddenly get so many things...happy happy :)
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
what the......
wat the f*ck...soli i have to that but someone 'ci xin' make me mad...actually today my mood is okok wan...but then just now when i check my frenster...i just read my new msg 1 by 1 without looking their pics 1st...then saw one tithe the title 'hey', then the msg is 'pls collect skin'....then i check it out who the hell is this...then only i saw is a 'sei fei poh'...i won't scold or even say people like tat...but then wat the hell she trying to do with me...i didn't even know her and didn't 'tak zui' her oso then ask me collect skin...sial!!!!!!!!!
sei fei poh's frenster uin-->http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=10173583
sei fei poh's frenster uin-->http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=10173583
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
no mood...
hai....dunno why no mood this few days..especially today i think....like a 'mayat' doing everything...do watever things oso no energy, brain like not working like tat...but then only know how to tihnk negative things...hai...really dunno this kind of life will last how long...
Monday, March 07, 2005
why why why???
wat a damnnnnnnnnn boring weekend i had...as usual...but then dunno why like more boring as last time...i dun really mind tat 'da bao' liao then eat at home...but this 2 days really damn boring...
so at nite i think to go find my lao gong the next day, which mean today (sunday)...but of coz i ask him 1st...he sure no prob...but then...tat is wat i think of doing only, i'm not sure that i will go anot...few seconds later he came out with a good idea...he said he come find me at 7 today to go eat dinner...
ya...nice...really a good idea...but in my heart...i will think tat...ha...will this date is goin on?or will it be cancel again...never mind...before i sleep i still give myself abit of hope.then at 5something...i fall asleep.
about 8 something in the morning...i awake (i always wake up half of my sleep, haha).i check out my msn...he is still online and he is still in the gb...i ask him why still dun wan sleep...he said he can't sleep...ok...i know there is 99% tat the date might be cancel today
is about 11.20am, i woke up again and so 'ngam' my hp msg tone rang. i had a feeling tat is him tat send me msg and i am right. he said he really can't sleep dunno why, ask me how somemore. actually is just telling me that he can't come find me today. well... i reply him by wat i know wat will happen, he didn't reply, i know i said something wrong again and i sent him a msg with wat i wrote just now.
after few seconds he called me, we talk bout 12minits like tat. he said he really can't sleep, not he dun wan but is really can't, maybe is becoz the day before he slept for 15 hours. okok...i didn't blame him also, just felt dissapoint, althought i'm something like get use to this kind of situation already. but actually today is an 'extra' date for me becoz if i didn't go find him and he didn't say wan to find me, there might not be a date for today. so maybe tat is why i can be not so mind that he didn't come find me today...but then...hai....sad lah...always like tat
hai...i really felt tat this year i so unlucky lah!! my right leg keep on get hurt, the last day before CNY already hurt twice on right leg and right elbow. just now wan cook mee to eat, when take the 'periuk', tat holder broke liao!!so the whole periuk drop on my leg!!damn painnnnnnnnn!!!!striaght away my leg got a small part become dark green liao...wuaaaa....y i so unlucky wan ah!! T.T
so at nite i think to go find my lao gong the next day, which mean today (sunday)...but of coz i ask him 1st...he sure no prob...but then...tat is wat i think of doing only, i'm not sure that i will go anot...few seconds later he came out with a good idea...he said he come find me at 7 today to go eat dinner...
ya...nice...really a good idea...but in my heart...i will think tat...ha...will this date is goin on?or will it be cancel again...never mind...before i sleep i still give myself abit of hope.then at 5something...i fall asleep.
about 8 something in the morning...i awake (i always wake up half of my sleep, haha).i check out my msn...he is still online and he is still in the gb...i ask him why still dun wan sleep...he said he can't sleep...ok...i know there is 99% tat the date might be cancel today
is about 11.20am, i woke up again and so 'ngam' my hp msg tone rang. i had a feeling tat is him tat send me msg and i am right. he said he really can't sleep dunno why, ask me how somemore. actually is just telling me that he can't come find me today. well... i reply him by wat i know wat will happen, he didn't reply, i know i said something wrong again and i sent him a msg with wat i wrote just now.
after few seconds he called me, we talk bout 12minits like tat. he said he really can't sleep, not he dun wan but is really can't, maybe is becoz the day before he slept for 15 hours. okok...i didn't blame him also, just felt dissapoint, althought i'm something like get use to this kind of situation already. but actually today is an 'extra' date for me becoz if i didn't go find him and he didn't say wan to find me, there might not be a date for today. so maybe tat is why i can be not so mind that he didn't come find me today...but then...hai....sad lah...always like tat
hai...i really felt tat this year i so unlucky lah!! my right leg keep on get hurt, the last day before CNY already hurt twice on right leg and right elbow. just now wan cook mee to eat, when take the 'periuk', tat holder broke liao!!so the whole periuk drop on my leg!!damn painnnnnnnnn!!!!striaght away my leg got a small part become dark green liao...wuaaaa....y i so unlucky wan ah!! T.T
Saturday, March 05, 2005
stupid idea?
my dear dear lao gong start his work next weekend at mid valley...
he got the uniform for his work, is in orange colour, i love to see guys wear orange shirt!!i saw tat shirt last week but i didn't see he wear tat...then yesterday nite i got an idea is tat ask him to wear it then show me throught the webcam...but then i dun dare to ask him to do so...felt tat it is a stupid idea...but i really wan to see merr!! T.T
he got the uniform for his work, is in orange colour, i love to see guys wear orange shirt!!i saw tat shirt last week but i didn't see he wear tat...then yesterday nite i got an idea is tat ask him to wear it then show me throught the webcam...but then i dun dare to ask him to do so...felt tat it is a stupid idea...but i really wan to see merr!! T.T
use my own money...again!!
wat a boring day...again...
yesterday slept at 5something, morning lah...then until today 2something pm only satisfied to wake up...
hungry ler but nothing to eat, desperate to eat MC.D (as usual,haha)...ask my mom give me money and accompany me go 'da bao'...then she said always eat things so heavy...she ask me to eat chicken rice...which i already ate yesterday...so i dun wan eat lah...
i kept on ask her...so how ah...she dun wan answer me...fine!!!!!! tot i dunno y she dun wan answer me...becoz she dun wan give me money to buy MC.D mah..and i told her the same thing as i mentioned...then i go upstair change my clothes then go centrepoinnt tat MC.D to 'da bao' by driving lah of coz...with my OWN money...already give so little pocket money...i can't find tat whose pocket money is less than me already...danny (my bro) ask from u then u just straight away give...fine lah...u dun wan give me money is fine...i can ask from dad! XP
yesterday slept at 5something, morning lah...then until today 2something pm only satisfied to wake up...
hungry ler but nothing to eat, desperate to eat MC.D (as usual,haha)...ask my mom give me money and accompany me go 'da bao'...then she said always eat things so heavy...she ask me to eat chicken rice...which i already ate yesterday...so i dun wan eat lah...
i kept on ask her...so how ah...she dun wan answer me...fine!!!!!! tot i dunno y she dun wan answer me...becoz she dun wan give me money to buy MC.D mah..and i told her the same thing as i mentioned...then i go upstair change my clothes then go centrepoinnt tat MC.D to 'da bao' by driving lah of coz...with my OWN money...already give so little pocket money...i can't find tat whose pocket money is less than me already...danny (my bro) ask from u then u just straight away give...fine lah...u dun wan give me money is fine...i can ask from dad! XP
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