Friday, September 02, 2005

not the rite time to chat-part 2

start with 1st day of the funeral thingy, we have to stay at tat place for 2 days, from 12pm till 12am. nth to do...just sit there, when got ppl come, when they give money, give them sweet, then 'zong hiong' tat kind of thing have to do. the 'hiong' or candle finish have to change..i think tat's all lah...
so..1st day when reach there...'zong hiong' 1st, then see my grandma in the coffin, very cry again...but just tears come out like tat and my elder bro and sis oso not in mood like tat especially my bro. noon tat time actually i dun wan eat lunch..not dun appetite, but then gastric, so must eat liao.then at nite when 'da zai', cry again...when think back those memories with grandma.
2nd day...we reach there at 10 something quite sleepy, and 2nd day all of us...seems tat our mood become ok abit, mean not tat sad and no mood lah.
3rd day...worst. coz 3rd day is the last day i can see my grandma. in tat 2 day, i keep on thinking. altot tat everyone have to face this kind of thing..but...i really really dun hope to face this kind of thing anymore...mean i dun hope anyone tat is close with me will die. for sure tat is impossible...but i really can't stand it. and i asked myself a stupid question, can they dun burn my grandma and let her stay with us?( i know tat sounds 'bin tai' lah)...hai..i dunno lah.but i think my grandma came back to our house on 2nd nite, coz at 4am tat time, my dog bark..not bark lah..dunno how we say tat words liao, when dog saw those things will wat i think my grandma came back to see us the last time also loh :(
so..3rd day 7.30 have to wake up liao..then 8.30 those monk 'da zai' the last time. then we have to follow the car to the place to burn the 'mayat' and the coffin. when the monk 'da zai' some of us already start to cry coz is really the last time to see my grandma liao..and on the way to tat place (just beside) we oso crying(me and my bro the worst). i tot my bro will be the worst, but i am the worst..when i went to bathroom to change oso shock coz i saw my eyes turn red liao..all the way back home...still my elder bro said:'dun cry..if not grandma hardly to leave us.' after my bro said tat..i control myself to stop crying. but when i reached home..sat on the sofa, saw the pic tat my family took with grandma tears cant stop dropping again.
until now...i still not used to it, i still miss my grandma so much. altot i love to look at the sky no matter day or nite to see how nice is the sky, but now when i look at the sky, is another meaning for me.

1 comment:

stanco said...

Time is the most good medicine to heal ur sentimental...安慰的話.旁人說的容易.當事人聽了未必合意...only u can help urself...juz co-operate wif 'time ' n u will feel better n better...take care urself lo....