No point

Well…hell yea..its been a LONG while I didn’t get to update my blog T_T

Maybe is because I don’t know what to post d? seriously nothing much to write…I mean..I do have a lot of things to write..but those are like…those things I’ve posted quite often lately…not so commercialize la..haha…cause of confidence prob..although memang don’t have d la..but lately worst…or should said since I started to work or this few months (mean since started work loh)…ok..copywriter talking to herself again (copywriters punya syntomp :p )

See…again…I don’t know how to write d…all the sequences are like so luen sui…actually I did tried a lot of times..as in…I’ve writing a post..when I write till half…then I change to another topic…then write till half, change to another topic again…again…and again…then end up just post up something that I have already wrote last time yang haven’t post wan…

I haven’t got the reason yet…that why..I become like that…maybe I trying to tell in this post that…what is the transition of me before and after work.
I guess I really changed a lot…I heard a lot…comments of me that I have change after work. To be frank, of course I don’t feel that I have change although I felt that I have change..haha..stupid sentences again. Ok, I really felt that I have change..change to someone that is more outgoing. Although deep inside my heart I still think that I am the old me inside me.

From the very beginning, when I get to work in media prima, I really felt that God really treat me not bad cause It gave me something I wanted. I remember when I am looking for jobs, I am asking people around me whether I should apply jobs in big company or the small ones. ‘ying cuo yang ca’, I get to work in media prima, the copywriter for OneFM.

Copywriter, this position…actually I really didn’t imagine before, last time I used to think that…wow…this position seems like so high up for me, cause I still think that scriptwriter are not as ‘geng’ as copywriter I just don’t know why. Even I have work as a copywriter for few months, I still feel that I have not anyone la.

Until that day, my copywriter colleague said something. We were chatting while smoking…then she said:” Voon, u should be proud cause you are the 1st copywriter for OneFM’ I was like…hm…yahor..haha…but..aiya..that might only be the best thing to say out while interviewing for another job cause can ask for higher pay…hahaha.
Don’t know whether I can put it like this anot, but…I really like…Last time I use to have a lot of things in my mind wan,like..whatever things…and I think a lot. Now…don’t know izit like very follow clients requirement, so is like I only do what people ask me to..just like my life la..I see people face to become a person wan…not to say fake…but sometimes is just like..easier to live on.

Done with my job part, now is my transition :p

Well, to be frank again…I really love this company..people here are all very nice…although I don’t know what’s happening behind la, but…what do u expect…at least they are nice n real infront. Not to say I want to praise them or whatsoever. I know, and I’ve heard too how people comment their colleagues, in this company or outside of this company..saying that this is your 1st job..u haven’t know how complicated the working industry are…seriously…I don’t really mind lo..I mean…if the hurdles really come d…then just face it la…no people’s life are perfect, so everyone have diff kind of attitude, people want to treat u bad u oso cant do much…ok..I know I am out of topic again…

So..yea…people here are very nice and CRAZY..working here…doenst feel like working at all…so actually not much stress…of course la..working kind of stress still got..but luckily…I have a good senior again…work where my senior also very nice wan..wuahaha…*feeling lucky*

But 1 thing I worry is that…I might give the wrong image for my colleagues…
1st image is that..I am not that crazy loh..I became so sot its because those people I hang out are those most funny and crazy in the company wan…everyone know them, they know everyone…then everyone loves them…so when get along too much with them, takkan still quiet quiet geh, plus I’ve trained myself to be more outgoin in Australia d, so nowadays I became more outgoing and more sot la

this kind of soh things dunno do how many times in public d...

2nd image…hm…this image I guess always happen…bitch? Hao po? I mean, HELLO…I am not a pretty gal or whatsoever, I don’t have nice body either or wear very very sexy…I just like to …make myself looks better…at least dress nice and tidy la..with light make up cause I don’t want people ask me I got enuff sleep anot..I know my face la…although no pimples or oily..but the dark circle and skin tone not even and yellowish make ppl felt that I have not enuff sleep..yup..this is an excuse for myself cause I want to look nice..hahaha…back to topic…hao po ah…hai…sien d la..just because we get along ..maybe too well with guys…then we are the bitch…I am also not that open minded that whoever guys can get close to me..but I am sure some of you gals also have this situations rite…we are like..so tomboy…so we become buddy with those guys..they don’t even treat us like a gal or something…this so called tomboy thingy been following me since primary skool till now..sometimes its just so easy to talk with guys…cause they are not sensitive at all…I am a gal so I know, but yet I am very straight forward, so I very often say the wrong things which make me feel so guilty…so talk to guys really very nice cause no need care bout words..hahaha..but…hai…this image…what I can do is avoid, but like I said, if that person don’t like u sure talk bad bout u loh no matter what u do. So what I can do know is be back myself..this is the thing I felt that I have change, last time I used to explain for myself…EVERY SINGLE TIME, but now no more…lazy and tired to explain d…u wan think what then think la…

But overall, I really like my job now…although I don’t know how long and how far I can go..but at least for now I have no regrets…hopefully everything will be fine ler along the way :p

Connie's birthday :p

How bout you guys? Do u love ur job?

陌路 Feeling of the feeling

你知道那种感觉吗？

Do you know that kind of feeling?

那种你知道也许，可能，将会失去的感觉。

The feeling .that you know maybe…that you are losing

那种你想不到任何的办法来补救这个也许将会失去的感觉。

The feeling that you cannot think of any way to not fall into the feeling of losing,

但你也不清楚，这。。。真的那么重要吗？

Yet, you are not sure…whether losing the feeling of losing is that important for you

若真失去了，真的有那么恐怖吗?

Is it really that horrible and terror when you are losing?

我。。。还能失去这感觉后，很正常的过我的生活吗？

Can I still walk on…if I lose the feeling of losing

我。。。很害怕失去的感觉

Afraid…the feeling of losing

我。。。很害怕孤单的感觉

Afraid…the feeling of being alone

我。。。很害怕感觉到感觉

Afraid…the feeling of the feeling

what is trendy all the time

Today, another gal said wanna diet again. I was wondering, in this world, how many woman will be saying this word in 1 day. Should be damn lots, I think everyone know.
Well, no offense to those ppl are trying to lose weight, diet or something, cause I AM as well. DUH, like I said wat, other than those gals like skinny like aneroxic wan or gals that think they are skinny, which gal doesn’t say themselves are fat or they wanna lose weight, they wanna diet.

I really wonder why “I WAN TO LOSE WEIGHT” this word will often come out from a ladies. I ask myself many times, but I don’t have the answer. I just somehow think I am fat. Well let’s see how to prove that u are really fat. Ok, I shouldn’t say fat here, I should say chubby, meaty, or not skinny (slim).

- When people indirectly saying u r fat (don’t be so sensitive sometimes)

- When u said u are chubby and no one say ‘U R NOT’, then u r. But of course 
depends which kind of frens u have (which u never know) some might say, 
HELLO, u r not fat at all but in their heart they will think, go go, makan 
more then u will become fatter than me (U GUYS NEVER KNOW HOW SOME GALS CAN 
BE TAT BITCHY, maybe they also don’t know cause it a ‘born talent’ in them, 
they will think its nothing/normal)
- When people SERIOUSLY SCOLD U because u saying tat u r fat (but if u said 
that often, then too bad la, cause its quite irritating).

- When u take pics with ur frens, u seems to be the fattest there (DEPENDS ON 
SITUATION e.g not with skinny gals, the right angle bla blab la)

Actually what I trying to say is that, there aren’t really any PROVE that u r chubby. Of course there are, but mostly is depends on urself. Some people are fat, I mean…ya…FAT…but they still live happily. I really wonder when I can become like that. But I don’t think so I want to be in another way. I always have this thought in my head…try to imagine a skinny/slim lady is trying every food on the desk (which maybe only like 3-5 dishes), then imagine a fat lady doing it. I don’t know what u think, but for me I think they look like very ‘tam sik’, and yes…I felt that I look like that cause I just love to eat..damn it. Then yesterday I ask my bf to imagine when I am fat and I doing those like little kids like to do…neh..u can see a lot those kinds of behavior in those HK movies or comedy when they trying to smear the lady character in the movie. But I am someone that damn care how people think or look at me PLUS I am a very sensitive and serious person ( boring kan I know). Anyway…I also don’t know what I’m saying d.

For me, I think the best way is that, ask properly to urself, how skinny u wan to be. For me, serious, I don’t want to be skinny, I just wan to be skinnier than what I am now. Don’t laff or scold ok, I’m kinda meaty now I know, what do u expect when ur family punya gene is like tat, plus didn’t do exercise, plus eat a lot,plus………（hana hana, I know lots of excuse）, hahaha. Nevermind, I know myself and I don’t need to know what u r saying, enuff of people nagging by using their point of view d…very sien wan loh.

Back to topic, so…I also don’t know what conclusion I want. I guess, as I mentioned just now loh, its better for u to find out that how skinny u wan to be, no matter what, too much its not good. If u wanna diet, eat less but not don’t eat at all, that will make u get skinny faster, but also get back or even fatter faster. 
Here I go…to lose weight…sien sien sien..also don’t know when I will get to my ideal weight.

At here I also wanna share some of picssss...hahaha...from skinny to fat...then fat...fat...fat!!

This is the prom nite...when I was 17...I really cant believe I can ate 7 large slices of pizza at that time;spaghetti+roast chicken+cheese nun.....at least 2 1/2 bowl of rice per meal....wtf...y cant I have tat appetite n tat body now T_T

Actually when I found this pic I kinda terkejut...I mean...kinda skinny till...er...I prefer fatter abit bit...on the body la..hahaha

Why I will put this pic is because that was the skinniest time in my life...waist only 21.5inch!! cause fever 1 week d...so whole body also also no more lemak n lose weight...which is kinda..unhealthy

Luckily went to take those studio pics...when I was 18..no regrets...best size I wanted :p

hai....I so love this pic..I mean this body size...hai........

then started to get abit fatter d dunno why(year 2006)...maybe grow older d so digest also slow d? hahaha

still...year 2006...getting fatter again liao

taken by a photographer fren before I leave Msia to study in Australia...LUCKILY..cause

this is the 1st few days when I reached Melbourne.....BUTTTTT..when I came back to Msia around Oct...this is how fat I am

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

luckily Msia is hot enuff so I dont feel like eating tat much...so

this is after 3-4 months...but after 1 month of this pic..I went back to Aus again...

did I look fatter this time? hm...not that serious like last time I guess..

No loh...I think...still that fat...

hai...

cut short hair look more fat...but maybe balance abit..not like last time...head looks bigger while the body was so small

hm....hopefully I become skinnier....46kg here I come!!!

爱情跑道 Love Track

不去开始，就不会有结束。

不小心起跑了，就要有技巧冲到终点，

竞赛的，不只是一个人。

看起来，外来的诱惑是阻拦，

也或许是自己把障碍放在心上。

支持者没有绝对的爱慕，

也没有抱着多大的希望，

纯粹扮演一个支持者的角色。

没有爱慕，因为了解自己的立场，

不期望，以保护参赛者不得冠的失望。

所以，有距离的观赏，

也许是最安全的也许。

但，终点还是存在的。

There is no ending if there is no beginning,

But once you begin, use your skill to end up.

In the competition, there’s not only one,

The attractions besides bring the obstruct,

Or I am the one that made me stuck.

Supporters do not give absolute adoration,

Also, they don’t give hopes no matter what,

Just…purely behave like a supporter.

No adorations, because the position we stand on,

No hopes, is to protect the feeling while they have lose in the end.

Therefore, distance create appreciations,

To prevent all the maybes, for secure.

Yet, the ending is still appear

怎么说 To say...

原来当个好人是真的那么难的，也许当个滥好人比较好吧。反证对别人来说都是一样的。

不是把自己说得多伟大，纯粹不喜欢看到别人不开心而已，尤其重点是因我而发的。也许自己的悲伤已够多，所以不想别人和我一样。

可是我觉得大家都不这么认为吧。有些会觉得你在讨好他们，就只为了得到一些利益，有些觉得你恨笨，得寸进尺，有些根本不领情。

我常在想，为什么我要把自己搞得那么辛苦呢？到底为的是什么？噢。。。对，只想别人开心。可是。。。人就是贪心的吧，你对他们好，他们就爬上你的头，或根本没察觉到你对他们的好，甚至从开始都觉得你应该对他们好，如果你稍微自私了点，他们就不爽或不开心了。

到底该怎么样呢？到底几时才会停止呢？我。。。真的很累了。

Now I know that, having to be a nice person is very difficult, I guess to be a pretended nice person will be better, since they all will think is actually the same.

Not trying to say that I’m great or something, just…purely want people to be happy, especially when the situations involve with me. Maybe I am pessimistic enough, so I don’t hope there will be more.

But I realize they don’t feel or think so. Some might think that you treat them good so that can get some benefits from them, some will think that you are so stupid, and then take advantage, some even don’t care at all.

I always thinking, why do I make myself to situate in this position now, for what? Ohya…just hope they are happy. But…human are greedy, when you treat them good, they will take advantage, or didn’t even notice that you are treating them good, OR even think that I’m suppose to treat them good cause that’s what I am from the beginning. So when you slightly think for yourself, they will not be happy or satisfy with you behavior.

Was wondering, what should I do? When will it end?

I…am very tired of allthese…

孤单寂寞 loneliness's lonely

在许久前的某年某月某一天， 我和寂寞相遇了.

虽然我们彼此相爱， 但只有我是往往付出的那一个。

在相爱中，寂寞给了我一样东西，它叫作孤单。

孤单比寂寞好太多了。它无时无刻都在身边陪着我。它非常了解我。而也只有它，知道我要的是什么。就这样，我决定离开寂寞，然后和孤单在一起。

我以为我和孤单在一起后，就能放得下寂寞。但我万万都没想到，当我和孤单在一起的时候，还是会让我想起寂寞。

Once upon a time, I've met lonely.

Although we love each other, but I am always the one who putting effort.

While we are in love, lonely give me something, he call alone.

Alone is so much better than lonely. No matter where or when, alone will be by my side. He understands me very well, and he is the only one who knows what I want. So, I have decided to leave lonely and then be with alone.

I thought I can forget lonely while I am in love with alone. But I never thought that, while I am with alone, I still thinking of lonely.