Tuesday, July 15, 2008

they were there before

In my previous post, I mention that I have few thoughts, in chinese we call it 感触. During the time when I have allthese thoughts, I asked myself, eh...I think when I having the same experience at the same place (e.g Spore), I have these thoughts before also. What I can remember of the main thoughts are these:

1. upper class (atas) with lower class
no offence to Sporen, people always say Sporen kiasu (afraid of losing). I think in a way that can be explain. Long long time ago, Spore was one of the state of Malaysia, but also long time ago, it became independent, until now, I consider it as a succesful country. On the other way, because of the country is improving, the locals will improve as well.

Why are allthese are related to my sub-topic. It is because my mom's side relative are Sporen (my mom 'was' Sporen). I not saying they kiasu, but for sure upper class. Not all of them but most of them. From last time till now, I can see few big differences between upper class n lower class. I take my aunt n uncle for example. They are rich, can see from their lifestyle n stuff. Not saying they are not kind and all, they are...generous also, spent us eat nice food and treat us good as well. But still, I feel the barrier. Not that I create the barrier between with the upper class, but if u r in my shoe before, u will know what I am trying to say. Cause this kind of feeling never happen when I visit my relative of my dad's side (which is from Ipoh (bandung) - a state of Msia) Maybe because it is more like a kampung-kampung place compare with Spore. So, I dunno how 2 explain la, I dont feel the barrier with them, only something seems like a barrier is the way I respect them. But we will hug, talk more like a family rather than a boss or something. These small things maybe some people wouldnt notice, but for me I think that allthese kind of small actions meant alot in the communication between ourselves n others.

2. sisters
I realize something between siblings after my 'research' from other people (not actually research la, just what I usually heard from most people). I am from a big family, cause only siblings I already got 3 of them, 1 elder sis, 1 elder bro n 1 younger bro (very ma fan loh whenever people ask me how many siblings I have, haha).

Let's start with my elder bro first since elder sis will be the main point in this topic. I love my elder bro, of course la I love other of my family members as well. I mean, he is really very considerate, n a nice person (I bet his colleagues n frens will feel this way as well) Maybe we are same type of person also la (my younger bro n elder sis more similiar with each other based on personality n stuff), so he tend to sayang me more. Maybe all the while I dont want accept because I felt that he treat my younger bro the same way also wat. Until recently we talked bout this topic ma, then he say of course sayang u more la, cause gals need more pamper n sayangssss...omg...really la, who is my bro's gf really very happiness wan loh, haha. Anyway, ok loh...from that moment I gotta accept that he sayang me more, but not that much ok compare with my younger bro. So I thought that only my bro is soooo good wan. But then, from what I heard from frens, their elder bro also their favorite sibling as well. So elder bro this position leh can be the favorite sibling...for gals la, I dunno for guys is how.

Then when it comes to elder bro, omg...they are the pain in the arse. They will be the one who always says:" so fat la u; so ugly la u; omg..how can u wear like that, nice meh; so short la u....etc etc etc...n they are also always the one who fight or argue with us. Sometimes rite, their mouth ah, really want to whack gao gao (=enuff x2) on them wan. hahaha, but still, we having the same blood wan loh, so no matter how much we fight, argue n so...we still love each other wan (is that so ah? haha) but when we all grow older, better alot d la, no more fights of course. but still his mouth ah...or only my bro is like tat? ahhaha

elder sis, why this is the main point in this. Cause when I was in Spore, I saw the way that my aunt (my mom's elder sis) treat her (e.g the way she talk to her n treat her), I dunno why I feel kinda hurt, is like...wth...why talk to her like that wan, she is ur sis leh. Then hor, suddenly my elder sis comes to my mind. Cause the way they look down on us, the way they talk (or I should say scold), the way they treat us, I saw the similiarities. Then I try to link back what my frens have told me, the cause of jealousy between gals. Well, most of the gals always have politics prob among their gang because of jealousy ah, this n tat (this will be another topic to be post next time) When my fren say that why my sis treat me like that is because she jealous. Actually till now I also cant accept, cause I still feel that sis is not same as frens cause we having the same bloog. But cant deny that, it can be the reason. I dunno others feel the same way anot cause I seldom got frens got elder sis wan, n I dunno others will feel hurt as easy as me anot, but I think human sure will feel hurt wan loh. HOW she hurts me? hm...like I cut my hair d, she will say, why u cut ur hair like this wan, so ugly la; when I did the temporary tattoo for my eyebrow, she said..yer...so ugly, (asked my bf) see ur gf, dun u think is ugly...n so on. I know the younger bro will say the same thing, but we all know that just because their mouth it itchy...tat's all...but when elder sis say allthese, u will feel like the needle is cucuk-ing the heart. Then I remember there is 1 time, when she is pregnant, when I touch soooo softly on her stomach, she scolded me why press so hard. Ok..fine...I tahan since u r pregnant. but there is 1 time I saw my younger bro using the same strength to touch her stomach (it can be harder cause he is a guy), my sis didnt say anything also. hai...really dunno what to say d...I can continue with lotssss of examples if I want to, but that will be the longest post I ever post here. So I better stop here as the conclusion for this sub-topic

Supposingly I got the third sub-topic. But lazy d la, haha...wait till next time when I am not watching tv n know what details n examples n focus can write first then I post again.

1 comment:

Helmut Lim said...

all the best in your future~
no matter what..
stay happy~!