Wednesday, May 07, 2008

能说的秘密 Secret can be told



在深夜里, 我不需要和假人说话。我不需要扮坏人。我不需要说我不想说的话.我不需要看人家的脸色。我不需要去社交。我不需要人家来教我怎么做人。最重要的是,我不需要面对任何人。(如果不上网聊天的话,不然情况都还是一样)





P.S 这并不代表平时的我是个带着面具的人。我还是我。认识我很久的人或许会会的认出这样的

Yup, here comes the english version which actually I dont really have the mood to do it but I, who consider myself as a almost perfectionist was thinking, if next time I come back and edit this post to add in the english part, then it will not be done on the 7th of May, which mean I didnt blog on my following day, and this stress me up!'s the translation

People around me often asked my why I always stay up so late, why not I go to sleep earlier, it's not good for health, not good for skin, not pretty...bla bla there's how this article sort of 'created'

I like to keep myself stay up late, if can, I wont want to wake up early in the morning. Cause this is the only way that I can avoid to see this cruel world.

In the midnight, I dont need to talk with fakers. I dont need to act bad. I dont need to say something that I dont feel like saying. I dont need to see peoples' face color (direct translation as a typical Msian do, or people who know chinese but not good in english do, and I just like being this way, doing the direct translation. so whoever doesnt know the meaning, too bad I cant think of any 'good' english word to describe that, so just forget about that) . I dont need to social. I dont need people teach me how to be me. Most importantly is that I dont need to face or see anyone. (Only if I doenst go online and sitting alone or watching tv, if not there is not much difference)

If I wake up early (let's say minimum noon). I cant live in my dream anymore, I have to face the reality that I known, I have to listen what other people say, I have to talk with more people, I have to make more people to hate or dislike me. Most importantly, I have to leave my pessimistic garden to the optimistic cinema.

I dont like to be alone, because I hope there is someone can totally understand me, I need alot of love, I need people to give me confidence, I need to explain to people I am not what they think, I need people to agree with me, I need people to get me or have the same wave link with me. I want to share my emotions, at the same times I hope I can share their emotions. The most I hope is to get a best girl friend that I always wanted to although at the same times I tell myself to forget it.

I like to be alone, just because I can be myself. I can think whatever I want, I can cry whenever I want. The best is I dont have any excuse to search for my so called best girl friend.

I heard before that people tend to get more depress or sad which will cause you to think too much nonsense during the midnight, especially where it is full moon. But what I felt that nonsense and non-nonsense is equal. (well people who can read chinese can see the big different in this paragraph. I just dont really give much damn that how this paragraph can be as appropriate as the chinese part )

P.S This article doenst mean that I'm wearing a mask usually, I'm still who I am. People who know me for a long time might just get to regconize that this kind of article was so written by me. I already the secret can be told. So please people, stop judging me. thanks

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